You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
