i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Never underestimate the power of titties
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
