i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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