i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize