just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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