okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
