Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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