Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
