Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
