we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He better not be in your backpack
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
