I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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