Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you made out with another girl for some wings
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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