Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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