I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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