I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Randomize
