halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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