It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize
