i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
