you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
