I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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