You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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