there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
