and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
