Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
