i don't like sucking hair
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
