totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
