Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
