just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
