Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
