There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
