absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
