we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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