I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
