Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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