O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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