the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
