I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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