Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
