She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my sisters under your porch take her home
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
