So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Randomize
