This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
