There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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