ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
