Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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