I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
