3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
