tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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