Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
