fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
