you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
