You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
