Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
