She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
