My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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