But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
