Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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