3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
