I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
