I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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