You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize